You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Randomize
