Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
where are my eyebrows?
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