Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
my shit smells like andre
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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