Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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