Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
