All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i drank out of a bidet.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
