I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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