Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize