You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
