why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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