I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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