8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
