it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
