We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
