Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
