I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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