Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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