As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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