I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
