we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
