Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
