Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
