The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
