God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
dude. I can hear the air.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
