I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
