I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
