he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
