I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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