We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
