omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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