At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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