So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
