is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
