I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I want to be your penis for a week.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
