Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
