Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
