batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
