I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
