If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
