loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
