North Korea, Best Korea!
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
