Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
