i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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