when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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