I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
