oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
