these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
