take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
