Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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