I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
