did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
