I only kidnapped one of them. chill
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
My vagina is very pro this idea
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
